Stop office bullies: how to successfully overcome bullying at work

Bullying. You would think bullies are a thing of the past the moment you leave school. But the sad truth is, some of us encounter them later in life in the form of office bullies.

No matter their age, all bullies have one thing in common. They tear down other people to feel good about themselves. It, of course, does not excuse their behaviour. You need to deal with them in a professional manner and stand up for yourself. The sooner you put a stop to the bullying, the better it will be.

What is workplace bullying?

Bullying can be either verbal or physical. It can be

• intimidating
• humiliating
• threatening

In any form, bullying can and does get in the way of the victim’s ability to work productively. In the office, bullying isn’t just about disturbing or annoying someone. It creates a power imbalance between the bully and the victim to the point that the victim ends up feeling helpless.

Unlike harassment, bullying doesn’t have any legal ramifications. In cases like sexual harassment, where someone creates a hostile work environment, you can seek protection from the law. However, if your bully’s behaviour is not based on protected classes like sex, religion or nationalities, then in the eye of the law, they aren’t doing anything illegal. Their behaviour, while toxic and hurtful, escapes any consequences from the law.

What drives office bullies?

Bullies often feel insecure in themselves, which is why they make life unpleasant for everyone around them. Their confidence may have taken a hit as new tech-savvy younger recruits with fresh ideas join the company. They may feel that being outperformed threatens their image. Their behaviour may have its roots in a promotion they felt they missed out on. Or anger at the employer for a perceived slight r lack of recognition.

On the other hand, it may be a result of childhood trauma or abuse. Or it may be rooted in an unresolved issue entirely unrelated to work.

In any case, office bullies take out these frustrations and insecurities on their colleagues. Why? Because in their minds, these colleagues are a threat to their image and job security. The office bully feels incompetent when he or she compare their work against their colleagues.

Their solution? intimidating and derailing their colleagues so that it affects their performance. By weakening their targets’ confidence, the bullies begin to control their colleagues. The end result is that the colleagues end up behaving in the way the bully wants them to.

Remote working and office bullies

We live in a new world where the rules of life are different. With remote working, most of us are at home. While it is not without its advantages, workplace bullying gets worse when no one is there to witness it. Online bullying is easier for bullies, since they don’t even have to face their victims. Chat apps and text messages are more than enough to torment their targets. And since remote working comes with an always-on culture, the victims can’t even put some distance between themselves and their bully after ‘logging off’ for the day.

What does office bullying look like?

Office bullies can do many things to hurt their targets. Their behaviour can be both verbal and non-verbal. Some examples of workplace bullying include;

• Social media posts that see to embarass a colleague
• Sexist or deregatory messages
• Constanty and intentionally cutting across a colleague during a meeting
• Demeaning or belittling remarks
• Micromanaging the work of a subordinate
• Taking credit for the work someone else did
• Spreading gossip or rumours about a colleague
• Gasslighting a colleague
• Yelling at someone in front of the entire office

How to deal with the problem

Office bullies can make your time at the office unpleasant. More than that bullying can take its emotional and mental toll on you as well. Therefore, it is a problem you must nip in the bud before it grows even more thorns. If you make yourself an easy target, the bullying will never come to an end. And if you stand by passively while they bully someone else, it will only encourage them to continue.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to make sure that workplace bullying comes to an end.

Learn your company regulations

While there are no laws in place to prevent workplace bullying, your company policy might. If you or someone you know is getting bullied at work, make sure you look up the company policy on how to proceed. Many companies have procedures in place for victims to report such cases. HR often has no-tolerance policies against workplace bullying.

However, your company may not have updated said policies to fit the WFH era. If so, be sure to make HR aware of the need to revisit company policies to better protect employees.

Document the actions of the workplace bullies

Similar to workplace harassment cases, HR needs details about the bullying taking place. So be sure to keep a detailed record of what the office bullies do. Note down the date, time and the incident and whether any coworkers were around to witness it.

Having a detailed document on the bully’s actions will help HR to proceed with disciplining them. After all, in addition to hurting employees, workplace bullies also affect the success of the company.

Speak up early

You have the chance to stop the office bullies in their tracks. The important thing is to not miss that window of opportunity. That is why speaking up early is so important. When someone mistreats you or someone around you, take action as soon as possible. If you stay passive, it is a sign that you won’t resist their behaviour. That is all the encouragement a bully needs to continue their actions.

Be firm when you speak to them and pay attention to your body language. If your posture looks timid, it shows your bully that you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. That will simply give them more material to work with.

Take care of yourself outside the office

Bullying can affect your mental and emotional wellbeing for a long time. In some cases, the victims may end up blaming themselves for the situation they are in. That is why it is important to pay attention to your well-being outside of work. Do things that help you to relax and unwind and feel good about yourself. Lean on your family and friends and talk to them about your problem and seek help.

And if you feel like you need professional help, seek a therapist or counsellor. These professionals can help you to process your trauma and face it in a healthy manner.

Focus on finding solutions

When you are dealing with a bully, don’t focus on the problem, ie, the bullying. Doing that will make you fixate on all the negative things you are trying to avoid. That will simply give your bully more power over you. Instead, look past the bullying and try to find solutions, things you can do to rise above the abuse and stop it from happening again.

Coming up with solutions lets you retake control again. It will get you to see that you have agency and will empower you to confront the office bulies with more confidence.