Dealing with office gossip: how to handle it like a champ
Every office has a gossip vine. Because, even in the corporate world, you can’t get away from the rumour mill. But at some point, the gossip goes from a relaxing moment in the coffee room to downright hurtful. Dealing with office gossip before it takes on a life of its own is a smart idea.
It might surprise you to learn, but there is apparently some benefits to gossiping. In fact, this NBC News article from 2019, highlights some of the good, the bad and the neutral of gossiping. Now, there are several ways to define what ‘gossip’ is. But in general, it relates to talking about other people’s personal lives when that person is not present during the conversation.
And let’s be honest, it’s pretty hard to NOT do this. Let’s say you are hanging out with your colleagues at work and someone brings up a group project with a team leader who you personally know is a micromanager. Wouldn’t you mention this fact, not to insult the team leader, but so your coworker has a heads up?
However, this random but useful little tidbit might be the gateway to drag all the perceived ‘sins’ of this team leader’s into the light. In which case, the gossip turns into an attack on his character. In such a case, whether or not the gossip is true, damage and hurt can follow.
Whether or not you are the subject of the rumour mill, dealing with office gossip as soon as possible important. How do you handle the loose tongues around you and the impact it will have on your career?
Why is dealing with office gossip soon important?
The grapevine may be weel below you. And acknowledging its exisence is something you can’t be bothered with. If there is a rumour going around regarding your personal life, you want to trust that your integrity is enough for everyone to dismiss that rumour.
Unfortuantely, ignoring it and waiting for it to die out is not always going to work. Sure, the people who know you well will laugh it off and even correct others about the misinformation. But for every person who doesn’t care, there will be another who does pay attention to the gossip. And sooner or later the gossip will go from someone seeing you having fun on a Friday night at the pub with your friends to something else entirely. So as much as you hate dealing with office gossip, confronting the gossip sooner rather than later will yeild better results.
Not dealing with office gossip also has more impacts beyond damaging your professional image. Gossip can:
- Hurt more than one person and affect the reputation of others
- Lead to a decrease in office morale and a lack of trust between colleagues
- Waste time and productivity
- Circulate misinformation among coworkers and create confusion as to what is fact and what is fiction
- Divide the office into groups as coworkers begin to take ‘sides’
- Create an unhealthy work environment
- Increase employee turnover as a result of the toxicity
- Tension and anxiety are at an all time high as people get caught up in the drama
Is gossip just about talking behind someone’s back?
Gossip, in its barest form, is about discussing someone’s personal life when they are absent from the conversation. Now, before you pat yourself in the back about never stooping so low, that’s not all there is to gossiping. Even if you don’t engage in these discussions, if you stay silent while someone spreads information you know to be inaccurate is, in a way, gossiping.
So, before we look at ways to deal with office gossip, let’s look at what comprise gossip:
- Inaccurate information
- Rumours
- Personal and confidential information about someone else
- Failure to correct false information
- Seemingly innocent jabs that ridicule, or belittle a colleague
- Failure to stop the spreading of unethical information
Simple ways to deal with office gossip
A colleague who loves gossip always needs an audience. The rest of you are just humouring this person. Or, most of you are happy to help water the proverbial grapevine. It’s human nature to tolerate or even promote gossiping. However, talking behind a colleague’s back is not greate if you want a healthy working environment and strong interpersonal bonds with your coworkers. Even is no one ends up getting hurt, office gossip has a way of creating lines in the sand.
How do you put a stop to the rumour mill without hurting anyone’s feelings?
Understand the difference between information and gossip
Some of your colleague’s are genuinely in possession of useful information. And they are happy to share said info if it can help you out. These people are reliable and always provides information that is relevant to you professionally. On the other hand, gossip for the sake of gossip doesn’t always care about the fine line between fact and fiction. So the information you hear may not always be accurate or even useful. Learn to understand the difference between valid information and gossip.
For instance, if you are new at work, the information the former coworker provides will come in handy. Meanwhile, the latter can lead you down a rabbit hole, wasting your time and possibly alienating you from potential work friends.
Dealing with office gossip by non-participation
As mentioned before, a gossip needs an audience. So don’t give them one. If you have a coworker who relish in discussing people’s personal lives behind their backs, just don’t engage. When the conversation veers towards gossiping, simply communicate your lack of interest. You can always walk away. But if that’s too extreme, you can always change the topic of discussion. Also, be aware of your body language. If your words say you aren’t interested, but your non-verbal cues communicate your interest, the gossip will run with it.
Turn it into something positive
Another way to dealing with office gossip is to put a positive spin on it. Gossip is almost always negative. It’s shocking and scandalous, and even mean-spirited. However, it isn’t nearly as fun to spread something if the shock factor goes away. So if someone gossips about how Sarah down in accounting is always working and has zero social life? Find something complimentary to say abut Sarah. Praise her commitment to work or how she respects other people’s privacy.
Doing so will effectively derail the gossip. What was once something negative becomes positive. And if more people starts agreeing with you, it will effectively shut down the negativity. No one likes to be seen as mean when other people refuse to agree with their opinions.
Encourage positive gossip
Gossip doesn’t always have to be negative. Sometimes, it can be about good things that happen to other people. Instead of discussing the break-up between Harry down at reception and his girlfriend, talk about how hepful he was to the senior citizen customers who visit your office. Share positive things about your coworkers, your customers and even the company. While negativity and shock value can entertain people, spreading positivity will boost morale and put everyone in a slightly happier mood.
And with no audience for negative office gossip, it will naturally die a quiet and ignored death.
Stand up to the office gossips
When gossip turns malicious, it becomes a tool to bully other people with. So if you are dealing with office gossip, you will have to confront the people who spread these rumours. It’s better to do so at a neutral space, away from other colleagues. While the purpose is to ‘confront’, it’s also better if you don’t get confrontational. Instead of throwing around accusations and blame, remain courteous and rational. Dealing with office gossip gets harder if you antagonise the perpetrators. Present examples of how their behaviour and what they said affect other coworkers. Most gossips don’t do it to intentionally harm other people. Sometimes it’s a thoughtless action meant to share what they know. When they become aware of the impact on other people, they are willing to try and curb their need to share.
Dealing with office gossip is easy when you keep your private life, private
If people are gossiping about others, nine times out of ten, they will gossip about you too. Unless you trust your coworkers completely to keep your secrets, don’t mention anything about your personal life. You don’t have to keep yourself closed off. But if there are things you don’t want to be fodder for the gossips, avoid sharing the specifics.
